“I can handle it”

by David Sweetnam on July 20, 2010

Recently I started reading a new book by British writer Geoff Thompson, Fear: the friend of exceptional people. I especially like one thing he recommends that we should tell ourselves more often when we encounter difficulty. Simply, that we say to ourselves “I can handle it.”

As I read, it got me thinking about the whole genre of self-development. There are literally THOUSANDS of books out there which pretty much say the same thing!

To my mind, it all started with Napolean Hill’s classic Think and Grow Rich. Since then the message itself hasn’t changed much – but how it’s delivered has. If you go through dating and pick up materials, for example, a lot of what the top ‘experts’ say has in fact been ‘translated’ from 1930’s American English to today’s lingo.

Usually at a significantly higher price too, I might add. Napolean Hill’s book now sells for about $10 – but a lot of guys out there would rather invest $100-400 or more for their fave present-day PUA to tell them the same thing.

So what makes this blog any different?

Simply that for many of us, self-development seems so easy and such common sense, yet most people who pick up a self-help book either don’t finish it or barely implement its ideas. Others just don’t get it until it’s communicated in a way that connects. Maybe this web-magazine will be the one that gets you saying ‘ah-ah’. Those ah-ah moments are truly amazing. You can read a book and seem to understand it, but sometimes it takes a few more books and personal journeys for you to finally get it.

I’m the same. I read some things and seem to get it, but then one day it truly begins to make sense. Once it makes sense, I take action.

When Geoff Thompson talks about how we should tell ourselves “I can handle it” there are a number of underlying issues here. First,  what do you really tell yourself in the morning as you wake up? Do you see your life in a positive light? Do you talk yourself up or down? We all have different fears but our time is limited – if you walk around at work all day or at home telling yourself you can’t handle it, then how happy will you be in life?

Second, there is the importance of having a positive mindset. Whatever you say to yourself will affect your mindset. So if you’ve been putting off doing something important, why wait any longer?

NOW. Let’s do it now.

I can handle it.

David (at) bouncebackfromabreakup.com

originally published on menslifestyledesign.com May 4, 2010

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One big tip to move forward

by David Sweetnam on July 15, 2010

Just after a break up, sometimes the last thing guys want to be told is “move on ‘bro!” Perhaps they feel they’re not ready to, or maybe they still want to make up with their ex. The irony of all this is that you’ll have more chances of improving your relationship after you’ve moved on. But as I often say: “if you can’t move on, move forward.”

With this in mind, one thing to propel you forward is to put down all the books you have at home or get off the computer and to create new experiences for yourself.

And summer is just the time for it!

Hop on a plane, boat or train
Travel is a great way for you to create more distance between how you felt on break up day and how you are now. It gives you a better perspective on things. It gives you new stories to tell. Travel can make you smile, and bring new people into your world, as you bring yourself into theirs. It can be a party or a time of great introspection. It can get you refreshed and give you the momentum to move forward with things when you return home.

It reminds you there’s a big world out there and that your world can be bigger than the situation with your ex.

Is there a place you’ve always dreamed of visiting? Well this is the time to do it! Leave the comfort of your own surroundings back home and step up for this adventure!

Weekend getaways and home town secrets
Taking a break can do you the world of good. But what if you’re broke or have serious responsibilities that prevent you from travelling far? I’m sure you can find a place not far from your city where you can go. If you’re in Prague, then there are mountains just up the road, and rivers and lakes within a few hours’ drive. From Vancouver, there’s Whistler and the wonders of Vancouver Island at your doorstep, and Seattle isn’t far either. What about near you?

Even a trip to another part of town can give you a boost. Every city has a part where visitors go – why not be a tourist in your own town?!

You can get stuck in a rut after a break up if you don’t start to do new things. Just take a step outside away from your usual routine, and see where it leads you.

Travel can do wonders for the soul – write your comments about the trip you’re going on below!

david (at)bouncebackfromabreakup.com

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Are you ready to meet her..really?

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Site Upgrade

June 20, 2010

Hi everyone!
As you can see, I am presently changing the look of this blog. It’ll take a little time to do so but in the meantime please feel free to read the articles already on here. Your comments and feedback are welcome!
David

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this pattern of unhealthy relationships.

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Is the Euro Tour the world’s best PUA bootcamp..?

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